I haven’t written here in a long time. Every time I revisit this diary of mine, I swear to myself that I will write more often, that I will post more…but really…it’s all a lie. Because this is my outlet – a place where I can vent, out my feelings…in total anonymity. This blog is my best friend in the sense that it knows all of my secrets. Between the lines of text are memories. Certain words trigger thoughts in my head that I don’t normally think of. It’s almost like it all comes out of the wood work whenever I tap into this at 1 AM.
How have I been? Should I do the typical “work’s great, school sucks” routine? Or should I dive into why I’m logged on at 1:13 AM on a Saturday night…one week before I move back to college.
The latter seems suitable, don’t you think?
I’m boring. Well, tonight I am. I have nothing to bitch and complain about because…nothing is happening. Other than me watching 50 Shades of Grey, American Pie and stuffing my face full of little Reese’s Pieces…nothing is going on. Guy wise? Zilch.
You think that I would be knee deep in a summer fling’s end right now (I look like that type, right? Well, you wouldn’t know…)? Nope. Not one boy. Not even close. Unless you count an old elementary friend messaging me for absolutely no reason at all. Why don’t we start there?
Pretty simple story line, actually. He messaged me after close to seven years of not saying a word to one another (even through high school), and asks me out. Fine. Except he doesn’t set a date, time or place…so I don’t count that as being asked out. He might as well of just asked me to come over, take my clothes off and not say a word (hint of 50 Shades coming through here…oops). So right off the bat…I wasn’t overly impressed or considered him as a contender.
Until we started talking literally every day. It was casual talk, nothing flirty really and nothing suggestive (as I carefully avoided). Only because I didn’t want to lead him on…because, really, he doesn’t have even a tiny shot at taking me out.
Note: my standards/expectations exist now.
I grew accustomed to receiving a text each day…but now it’s tweedled off (yes that’s a word). And good riddens’…but at the same time…I have no boys, prospects at all and I’m alone watching at fantasizing late at night to 50 Shades of Grey!
Maybe I should just go to bed now…