It has been almost a year since I last wrote and for good reason. I haven’t really had the need to express all of my emotions in such a literal format. I’ve been powering through life…putting myself first. Which is what every woman should do – put themselves first. It’s the best kind of medicine for a broken heart, in my opinion.
After last summer ended, I took a long hard look at what I had been through from the day I realized boys were a constant thought in my mind. I thought about how I had let men treat me. How I had compromised on so many of my needs and expectations. How boy after boy walked all over me while I laid there not fighting back.
I decided to fight back.
I cleared my contacts and rid my life of all the cancerous people who were bringing me down. (I highly recommend this type of cleanse).
This year has been wonderful. I have been extremely lonely. However, those nights I lay in bed, watching the moon stream through my blinds and listening to sweet ballads, wondering if I would ever find companionship…it was all worth it.
Roughly two months ago, I was given a new outlook on life. Through this cleanse, I was able to morph into someone that I was once, a long time ago. The girl who believes in herself and her dreams. Someone who cares about her well being and doesn’t let people consistently walk all over her. A girl who is powerful and takes life by the balls.
Well, it paid off.
I was blessed with the opportunity to meet someone who values who I am, what I believe in and what I see myself doing in the future. Talking about it makes my head spin, because it is all so overwhelming.
But the one feeling I don’t have, is that worthless, meaningless, empty feeling I have experienced since I was 13 years old.